Unfinished projects

One of the worst things about being a full-time student with a full-time job is that I have a million unfinished projects.

Somewhere in my parents’ house or the depths of my room is an unfinished table runner that I started quilting and somewhere else is an unfinished quilt that I got discouraged about when I realized it needed to be like twice as big as I was planning. Somewhere else is a cross-stitch project that I started for my mom’s birthday probably 10 years ago. Every so often, I’ll dig it out and tell myself that I’ll finish it in time for her next birthday. At this rate, she’ll get it when she’s 90.

Along those same lines, I recently bought Moby Dick with every intention of reading it. Of course, I haven’t even cracked it open. That’s partially because someone — who shall remain unnamed — summarized it for me as “Call me Ishmael. I like to fish.”

But when I’m done with school, I plan to finish all the projects I’ve started.

I might even come back and finish writing this blog.

A breakthrough

This is a day that will go down in history. I single-handedly fixed my printer. I know, momentous occasion.

Ever since my friend extracted the Sharpie from it, I’ve been thrilled to be able to print things out at home again. But today, I had to scan something in, which is a totally different beast from printing something out. So I put in the piece of paper I wanted to scan, but all it would do was copy it, not scan it.

I guess I should admit that I didn’t actually fix it since it wasn’t actually broken. But I figured out the problem, even if it was a human error. I don’t really remember what I did differently to make it scan, not copy, but all I know is that it worked. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s good enough.

Now that the score is Technology 1, Sara 1, I feel omnipotent. People at work already ask me for help on the website, assuming that since I’m young, I must be a tech whiz. The fact that I’m the go-to person for these things gives me a lot more faith in myself and a lot less in my employer.

But I actually am able to troubleshoot some Web problems at work, which, according to my friend, makes the score Technology 384,483,748, Sara 7.

But hey, that’s still light-years ahead of where I was when I had a Sharpie stuck in my printer for six months, so I’ll take it.

Read this for pictures of puppies

I really want a dog, and I think there are several reasons I should get one.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

 

Those are pictures of German short-haired pointers, like the dog I used to have. As far as I’m concerned, they’re the cutest kind of dog and don’t you dare say differently!

If I ever got a dog, the main problem would be what to name it. I think Daisy or Franklin are cute names, but everyone else I know gags at those. But then again, everyone else I know — and I mean everyone — wants to name a dog Bear. I don’t understand the fascination with this name. It doesn’t matter what size dog you have — that name is always bad. For a little dog, it’s just a joke. For what I call a dog-sized dog, it’s still kinda ill-fitting. And for a huge dog, it’s just unoriginal. But a dog named Daisy? So cute!

But actually, the prize for the winning name comes from a 3-year-old, who somehow found a way to combine my love of cute puppies with my love for my favorite animal. Ayden’s idea for a dog’s name? Penguin.

A girl’s dream date

I don’t mean to brag, but today a boy asked me to be his Valentine. He’s super cute, really smart and incredibly smooth with the ladies. Ok, maybe he’s also 3 years old, but that’s beside the point. He asked me to be his Valentine, and I accepted.

He did warn me, though, that he can’t drive and he has to sit in a car seat, so going on a date might be a little bit difficult. But I’m not picky.

I might have a little competition, though, because he also told my roommate (his aunt) that he loves her like nobody’s business. Man, what are the chances of finding a love like that?

I’m not expecting to get chocolates from him, though. Kelsie had a bag of chocolates, and she told him to ask me if I wanted one, and he said, “You don’t mind if I eat yours, right?” He finally broke down and gave me one, but it was in a silver wrapper, which he informed me was for boys.

So maybe he’s got a little touching up on his flirting to do, but I for one am going to be thrilled to spend Valentine’s Day at Chuck E Cheese.

Lessons from NFL Monopoly

1. If your family plays by different rules, people will ridicule you. But, if you write your rules ahead of time on a white board, people will not question it. Apparently writing things on white boards is the equivalent to writing them in stone.

2. If you only watch a couple of games a year, it really works to guess who’s going to win based on which team is higher up on the board. So feel free to place several bets in favor of the Giants this year.

3. All personal preferences go out the window. So what if your friend is a really big Broncos fan? If you land on it, you better snatch it up. All is fair in love and NFL Monopoly.

4. Never ever leave your money and properties in the care of your roommate while you go to the bathroom, or else you will come back to a suspiciously empty place.

5. NFL Monopoly is basically the greatest game there is. Anyone who says otherwise clearly has not read the whiteboard.

Copeland Classics™

We Copelands may be known for being technologically challenged, but we’re also known for our Copeland Classics. (Yes, the C in Classics is capitalized, because I’m gonna make it trademarked.) These are the delicious baked goods that we spread with joy and cheer throughout the land. Or, ya know, when I’m finally having an NFL Monopoly party and I want something to serve. Here’s a list of our most popular:

1. Sausage spinach loaf

This is what I’m making tonight, and it’s also what everyone chooses for their birthday dinner in my family. That’s because it’s delicious. It’s basically dough wrapped calzone-style around sausage, spinach and cheese (hence the name) and then served with honey and a side of baked beans. The best present you could ever get a Copeland.

2. Egg rice bake

Again, we’re not huge on creative names, so this is eggs and rice that you bake. There are a few other ingredients thrown in, but this is also a birthday-worthy meal.

3. Raspberry squares

These babies are actually first-generation Copeland Classics, since they started when I got a sweet cookbook for Christmas one year. They’re basically lemon bars, but instead of lemon, you insert raspberry heavenness.

So, just as a reminder, keep an eye out a few years from now for my Copeland Classic Cookbook ™.  It’ll make millions, I just know it.

Nostalgia

Ten years doesn’t really seem like that long ago, but trust me, it was. That’s the basis of my brilliant idea: a 2002 party. Lots of people throw ’80s or ’90s parties, but a 2002 party would be the best!

Just think about it: Avril Lavigne, Dance Dance Revolution, belts with the tassels hanging down … this was a great year. Especially if, like me, you were in middle school. It was so important to have those shirts that say “Princess” or “Angel” in cursive writing, or to have that life-size poster of Orlando Bloom as Legolas in your locker.

And I’m so excited to crimp my hair again and have a zig-zag part. And the boys can wear two polos at once and pop both collars. They’ll spike their hair with tons and tons of gel, and everyone will wear puka shell necklaces and chokers.

How could you not be excited to listen to this again?

(Don’t forget, this is the beginning of Internet language, so it’s spelled “Sk8er Boi.” Again, was 2002 the awesomest year ever or what?)

Why online classes are the worst thing ever

I have been so proud of myself lately. In my final semester of college, I finally decided to take school seriously and do some homework.

To be fair, before this, I did most of my homework, but I have a really hard time both remembering to do online homework and having the motivation to get it done. I’ve taken two online classes and hated them both, and all of my Spanish classes have had online components that I rarely put sufficient, if any, effort into. But c’mon, I’m Amish. I should be religiously exempted from this.

Let me just say for the record, though, that I still got A’s in these classes and I will graduate with two degrees and a good GPA regardless of how much work I put into the weekly quizzes for “Survey of Jazz” or “Intro to Visual Art.”

Anyway, this semester, I have been way good about doing my homework. My roommate even commented today on how surprising it was that I’ve been so responsible about all my online work.

And then, after feeling super proud of myself for a few hours, I realized something. I have two online classes this semester. I’ve only been doing work for one of them. In fact, I’ve completely forgotten about the other one. It’s the third week of school.

Oops.

Luckily, there’s just one assignment per week, so I’ve only missed two assignments and if I do all the rest of them, I’m sure I’ll be fine.

But it just goes to show that pride comes before a fall. And it also goes to show that I should never, ever rely on my ability to do things where my grade relies on technology.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some homework to catch up on.

Stick to quilting

We’ve already established that I’m not the greatest at technology, but I think I hit a new low yesterday.

See, my printer has been broken for a couple of months now. It starts to take the paper in, but then it turns it at an angle and just crumples it up. I just used my roommate’s printer or paid to print things off at school for a long time, but I’ll have lots of things I need to print this semester, so I figured I needed to get it fixed. So I called my friend who worked in IT for five years and begged him to come over.

When he got to my apartment, I brought my printer out and set it on the kitchen counter. “Hold on,” I said. “I tried to print something just this morning to make sure it was still broken, and I think the piece of paper is still stuck in there.”

Then I turned the printer around so I could see the back, where the paper goes in, and suddenly, I saw it.

“Wait a minute,” I said. “There’s a Sharpie in here!”

And then it hit me — that Sharpie was blocking the paper’s path and causing it to go in at an angle. Nothing was wrong with my printer besides my own stupidity.

The look on my friend’s face was priceless. It was like he had finally realized all that is wrong with girls — namely that we’re so bad with technology, we will enlist the help of a tech-savvy person only to find a marker in the most obvious place.

So, admittedly, it was not my finest moment. And I still made my friend be the one to take the Sharpie out because I was laughing too hard about his comments along the lines of “Was this your method of replacing the ink?”

Of course this is something I’ll never ever live down. Later that day, I was complaining to a friend that technology is confusing, and he told me “The problem with technology is people who somehow get Sharpies stuck in said technology.” But what can I say? I’m Amish. And you would never ever have these kinds of problems with a quilt.

Mother knows best

Nobody takes my mom lectures seriously. This is a real tragedy, because even though I am not a mom, I have really good mom lectures. You know, brush your teeth, wear your seat belt, put on a sweater for goodness’ sakes — that kind of stuff.

My dad doesn’t understand why women always have to assume other people are cold and insist that they put on more layers. But it’s what we do best. If you had a whole room of women together, you would probably come out of that room with 10 more coats than you went in with.

But my two biggest lectures are about not talking on the phone while driving and appreciating the First Amendment. Trust me, you do not wanna get stuck in a car with me when I go off about either of these. You also probably don’t want to be my roommate, because then I can corner you in your room at midnight and explain John Stuart Mill’s four main points on freedom of speech. But these are important issues!

Whenever I try to go on a mom rant, people love to play the devil’s advocate just to frustrate me. Some people *cough* Kelsie *cough* will even go as far as to pretend to talk on the phone while they’re driving even when they’re not.

This is probably the worst thing you could ever do to me.

But I suppose I forgive her, mostly because my lecture about the First Amendment carried into the wee hours of the night. And then I woke up in the middle of the night and while reaching for my phone to see what time it was, I said aloud, “I’m just worried about the First Amendment.”

Granted, that was while I was still half-asleep so I have no idea why I said that, but the fact that I wake up in the middle of the night to worry is a sign that, combined with the constant lectures, I’m ready to be everyone’s mom.